Thursday, October 22, 2009

GAS GAS GAS!!!!!!!

Yes here I am, still here, still alive. Its been a very interesting few months. I would say I haven't blogged because I'm too busy. But its more like too lazy......that's close don't you know.... too busy not doing anything like write a little blog every now and then.

Every once and a while the powers that be whom are in charge of the Army decide that there hasn't been enough fun yet for the year and choose to give us opportunities to get some extra excitement. This weeks version of awesome fun was a chance to experience chlorobenzylidenemalononitrile. Yes I know Awesome!!! Right?? Now before you all go to the store and get some of you own your going to need a couple things a nifty suits called JSLIST or Joint Service Lightweight Integrated Suite Technology. The other nifty thing that you will like to have is a Pro Mask or gas mask for people who speak human not Army. When you combine them all you'll look like this.

Here is the order of events. First you get your gear all together, put it on, and make sure its all sealed. Then you all shuffle into a room (gas chamber) and fill the room with the chlorobenzylidenemalononitrile or CS Gas after witch you stand around making sure your mask and suit are working correctly with no leaks and things like that. After determining that your mask works and will keep the nasty...but awesome.... gas out of your lungs and eyes you do this.

Yes you take the mask off. The reason being how can you possibility appreciate how awesome CS gas is or how well your mask can keep the awesomeness away from you unless you take off the mask?

After a few seconds you start to have a new understanding of how much more comfortable regular air is to breath instead of the chlorobenzylidenemalononitrile. One problem I have when breathing the CS gas is I have a hard time thinking of much else other than how awesome the gas is. Knowing this a kind fellow walks around asking you questions of things we should know like name rank and all that jazz. Unfortunately my memory is a little shoddy to begin with sometimes so this is what you end up getting when you combine both the gas and a bad memory.

In the end you can't spend all day having all the fun. Other people need there chance to join in. So we all file out and have nothing but awesome memories to remember the whole experience by.


Mammallama said...

OMG (No I did not break my own rule GOSH) Did Joel blog 2x in the same year?????
Is hell frozen over? I know, the gas went to your brain and you had a quick vision of blogging again?
Seriously though it is good you documented it on the net so when your unmentionables fall off or you grow a third eye, hey you got proof what happened!

Apis Melliflora said...

This is an experience I'm happy to live without. I'm pretty sure I would crack and freak out.

Kernal Ken said...

Hooah! One of my all time favorite experiences...not.
What the photos don't show is the number of soldiers who have snot drooling noses or who are on their way to the barf barrels.

All of this falls into the category of "good training."

Much better to experience this occasionally during training than to have it suddenly happen to you in the middle of real combat. I think I did this 30 times in my military career.

A shower afterwards seemed to help, but you could still smell and feel the CS for about 12 hours.

The Queen Vee said...

This post was a GAS, thanks for sharing Joel. I'm glad you had so much fun, keep breathing!

Megan Of Parker said...

You're alive! And so squinty in the gas chamber. Who was taking these photos? Tobi? In a gas suit?

bdmom said...

I'm almost as proud of you for blogging again as I am of Dude for the awesome pumpkin drawings.
So... where can I get some of that gas? Seems like it would come in handy when Dakota visits and the boys get out of hand.

Crazy Granny said...

Life's a gas in the army.